I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
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I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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