its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Fuck me I smell like cheese
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
