Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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