google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
