When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
