i don't like sucking hair
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
