Im at strip club and am horny
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
