Me. At least after what I've been through.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
