mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
