I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
