brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
