marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
