Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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