i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just forgot I was standing up.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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