I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Randomize
