i wish there were pregnant emoticons
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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