i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize