Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize