I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
