Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
