Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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