I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize