so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize