I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Let's get the cat blown out
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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