True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
