I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Randomize
