If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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