so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
