The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
