super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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