you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
