love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
