Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
