batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
