thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
do herpes really smell.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
