For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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