I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
