This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
