I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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