I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
