I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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