oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
