You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
