Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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