im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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