sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
