he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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