Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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