An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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