when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
