I like to think it a success when the cops are called
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
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smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
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I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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