News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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