they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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