So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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