That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
