There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
