Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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