I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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