forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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