Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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