Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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