yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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