Kiss
Puke
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Randomize
