My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize