Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
