Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
