Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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